Is the Goal Really the Point?

A few weeks back I wrote an article on whether or not to share your goals. This week I explore ‘Is the goal really the point?‘;  I see these two topics intrinsically linked as it depends on why you are setting the goal in the first place. 

Most of us would like a new car or a bigger house. Or maybe you’d like to climb Mount Everest. However, if you were instantly teleported to the top of Everest, you wouldn’t be as happy or fulfilled as if you actually climbed it. Our goals are more than just things we want to have or achieve. There’s much more to it. And the motivations behind them are what is driving us. 

You might think that you’d like to have a magic genie at your disposal. But it would be a lot less enjoyable than you think. Why? Well there is more that meets the eye when it comes to goal setting and actually arriving at the end destination. The process must be considered along the way. 

Consider these ideas: 

If you could have everything you want just magically appear, would you find that satisfying? If you’re like most people, you have a long list of things you’d like to see, do, and have.  

• Imagine you could just suddenly snap your fingers and be wealthy, play the piano, see Paris, lose 20 kilos, have a successful business, be married to the person of your dreams, and have three kids. How do you think you would feel? Satisfied or wanting something else too? 

• Imagine that and ask yourself how that would feel. If what you really want is to simply have all those things, you’d jump at that deal. However, you probably aren’t that excited when it’s presented this way. 

• The process of achieving something might be more important to you. Growing a business, finding your perfect romantic partner, and figuring out how to become wealthy are part of the journey. 

• The bottom line is, things don’t mean as much if you don’t have to work for them. This is probably why some people don’t seem satisfied if they were given something expensive, they haven’t had to work for it so it is disposable. 

How do you feel the day after completing a goal? Think about a big goal you’ve achieved. It might be landing a particular job, graduating from school, or seeing Europe. How did you feel shortly after it was over? 

• Soon after your great success, you probably felt surprisingly blah about the whole matter. Why do you think this is? 

Is it the struggle that matters to you? Maybe the struggle is what appeals to you. Maybe it’s not winning, but putting in the time, sweat, and tears that makes it all worthwhile. Maybe it’s the thrill of overcoming a challenge. You certainly don’t experience that when you don’t have to work for something. 

Is it the personal growth that makes achieving goals satisfying? Is having a successful business exciting? Or is it learning new skills, developing the perfect sales pitch, and becoming a new and improved version of yourself? This is where I am at now in my journey, and I am loving every new thing that I need to figure out. Stuff that I don’t want to do for my business but is vital, well I find someone else to do that and I still feel that I am working towards my goals and dreams. 

• To achieve a big goal, you must grow and develop yourself. Is this what really appeals to you? 

Struggling leads to learning. If a new car is just handed to you, you have lost an opportunity to learn how to earn, save, and invest your money. When you face challenges, you’re forced to learn. Either you study, or you make mistakes and corrections. Both are forms of learning and you will always grow richer from the experience. 

Think about all the things you’ve achieved. Now, imagine all of those things had just been handed to you. How does that make you feel? Would you still be the same person if you’d lost 20 kilos by waving a magic wand versus changing your diet and working hard at the gym? Probably not. 

What we really need to learn is that we get more from achieving goals than just the end result. Our goals are a way to struggle and grow. Goals provide a sense of accomplishment when they require work and effort to achieve. Self-confidence and self-esteem grow as well when goals are set and accomplished. 

Having something handed to you is nice but delivers much less meaning. So, avoid wishing for good luck. Instead, wish to be stronger and more determined. Although achieving it is fantastic, the goal itself isn’t really the point!