Self-Esteem – How are your nurturing yours?

Self-esteem is the way we think about ourselves and the value we place on ourselves, and low self-esteem is practically an epidemic these days. Every day we are bombarded with images of impossible success and beauty. And it’s hard to avoid making comparisons, and those comparisons never seem to work out in our favour, especially in today’s modern age of filters and influencers and the like.

Add to that a few mean comments you may have received in childhood, a workplace bully, and a few extra kilos from covid lockdowns, and your self-esteem is probably pretty low. So, how do you increase your self-esteem and self-worth?

Firstly, you must be able to recognize the signs of low self-esteem.

These include things like:

Difficulty accepting compliments. If you have a hard time hearing someone say something nice about you, you might be suffering from low self-esteem. Most people enjoy receiving a genuine compliment, but those with a low opinion of themselves feel very uncomfortable being on the receiving end of praise. One was to improve your own worth is to Start by giving yourself compliments in the mirror. Keep doing this each day until the discomfort is greatly diminished.

You may be overly sensitive to criticism. On the other hand, those with low self-esteem can’t handle criticism either. They tend to overreact and to take criticism too personally. Even constructive criticism is handled poorly. Do you bristle when someone offers a helpful suggestion for improvement? If so, your lack of self-esteem might be the reason.

Ask someone for advice about how you could improve how you currently do something. Then, thank them for it and make good use of their feedback.

Do you fear failure? Everyone wants to do well but low self-esteem and avoidance are commonly found together. Those with low self-esteem expect to fail, and who is going to try to do something if they expect failure? You may say to yourself, what’s the point, I’m only going to stuff it up anyways!

When you do things that will likely result in failure, you soon realize that it is not the end of the world. Very rarely will you push yourself out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit, will end in disaster.

Quit with the people-pleasing behaviour. While compliments are hard to handle, who doesn’t like the gratitude of others? When people show appreciation to someone with low self-esteem, that appreciation is soaked up like a dry sponge soaks up water. People-pleasing is done to feel some sense of value and worth. Instead, why don’t you try to do what needs to be done without trying so hard to make others happy.

Do something that makes YOU happy. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider the negative impact your words or actions can have on other people. Just lighten up a bit.

You may have difficulty in prioritizing your own needs. When you think you don’t matter, you put everyone else above and ahead of yourself. If you’re regularly getting the short end of the stick, ask yourself why you continue to allow it to happen. And sometimes, you start to feel resentment for this!

Put yourself first for a change. That doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of anyone but think about what would be best for you and your life and give that a try for a while.

Do you find it hard to enforce boundaries? People with high self-esteem have boundaries that they enforce religiously, but calmly. If people are walking all over you and disregard any boundaries you attempt to enforce, your self-esteem might need a little work.

Begin by saying “no” more often. Prioritize your time and your life by turning down requests that don’t fit in with your plans or are too burdensome.

Critical self-talk. Do you speak kindly to yourself or are you hard on yourself?  People with a healthy level of self-esteem tend to be kind and encouraging to themselves. Those with low self-esteem tend to be much more critical.

Monitor your self-talk and stop yourself when you speak poorly to yourself. Compliment yourself each time you catch yourself being negative toward yourself.

Do you find it difficult to give an opinion even when asked. When your self-esteem is low, you think that your opinions don’t matter. You also want to avoid having your opinions judged by others, so you keep them to yourself. Give your opinion whenever asked. See what happens.

Low self-esteem is common, but that doesn’t mean it’s normal.

Recognize the signs of low self-esteem in yourself and do something about it. Low self-esteem is extremely limiting.

Raising self-esteem is a great gift to give yourself and the ones you love.